Posted on: 03 June, 2004
Author: Karl Augustine
Having a marriage problem can be ... ... if you're tryingto do all you can to make ... work. ... on how ... was prior to thinking thatyou had a marriage problem, Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're tryingto do all you can to make yourmarriage work. Depending on how yourmarriage was prior to thinking thatyou had a marriage problem, you couldbe in for a hurtful time if you don'ttake a step back and look at yourmarriage problem from a "helicopter"viewpoint. To do that, you're going toneed to try to limit your emotionalstake in the situation whichadmittedly is a difficult thing to do.The first step in getting over amarriage problem is to remember thatyou aren't alone, lots of couples havemarriage problems that stem from allkinds of different types of behavior.Here's a partial list of marriageproblems that you may or may not beexperiencing:Marriage problem #1: Lack of sexualintimacy - a serious issue that youmust work through in my opinion ifyour going to work it out.Marriage problem #2: Exploding duringan argument, getting too emotional andletting your temper get the best ofyou - you need to learn to worktogether and you can't do that if oneof you is getting too heated.Marriage problem #3: Being selfish -eventually this will catch up to you.You should always think of yourpartner when you think of yourself.Marriage problem #4: Being dishonest -another serious issue. If you cannotbe 100% honest and open with yourmate, you're marriage is most likelydoomed or at the very least unhappy.Marriage problem #5: Teasing too much-generally the husband does this but itcould go either way. If there's alittle bit of truth to the teasing orthere's a greater marriage problemthat incites the teasing, you could bein for a long road to recoverytogether. Chances are that you'll havea lot more work to do to correct thismarriage problem.Marriage problem #6: Not respectingyour spouse - this marriage problemcan result in all types of otherproblems. If you are experiencing thisyou must get to the root of this andfigure out why the disrespect ispresent. If you aren't getting theevery day respect that you deserve,make it a priority to not let this goon another day.Marriage problem #7: Not beingattentive to your spouse or notlistening to your spouse - men areusually guilty of this marriageproblem but is isn't exclusive to theweaker gender by any means. Reallylistening doesn't mean obeying, itmeans understanding what's importantto your spouse and acting accordingly.Obviously there are many other things that could be labeled a "marriageproblem", you have to decide whatthose are as they pertain to yoursituation.So, how do you figure out if amarriage problem or problems aresevere enough to warrant a divorce?You should first examine what yourmarriage problem actually is anddecide if it is exclusively a problemfor you or if it is something that youboth consider to be a marriageproblem. If you are the only one whosees the said action as a marriageproblem, you have to decide whether ornot that specific marriage problem isbeing caused by you or whether it istruly a problem brought on by yourspouse. If the marriage problem isunique to you, seek some help from acounselor and do yourself the courtesyof trying to correct the problembefore you believe that you need torun right out and get a divorce.You'll be a better person for itbecause you will have fixed somethingwithin yourself.However, if you truly believe that themarriage problem is caused andprolonged by your spouse, sit downwith yourself first and examine whatyou believe to be the root cause ofthe behavior that creates the marriageproblem. Make sure that you are beinglogical when you identify the behaviorthat you feel is causing the marriageproblem and try to recall if thetraits or behavior that you'veidentified in your spouseare 'fixable' in your mind...assumingof course, that your spouse will agreethat you are right.Next, approach your spouse with theinformation that you've reflected onand try to talk through the cause ofthe marriage problem. Hopefully yourspouse will be open to constructivediscussion regarding the marriageproblem so you can work through ittogether. If you cannot do work on themarriage problem together, seek thehelp of a mediator or marriagecounselor so you can actually talk outthe marriage problem logically. If youcannot work it out after counseling,deep self-reflection and discussions,you should be able to decide whetheror not the marriage problem warrants adivorce or not.Of course, no one can decide this butyou.Karl Augustinehttp://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/marriage-problem.htm Article Tags: Marriage Problem Source: Free Articles from ArticlesFactory.com